Friday, August 15, 2008

He's more than enough! ~ Current Mood: Thankful

It's amazing, God is always faithful, even in the little things.

Last night I was helping out for this new ministry called "Shout! NYC", I was excited about it but as I was heading into the city, the few sneezes that started earlier that day turned into a full fledged allergy attack.

As I was walking into the theater where we have it, I was sneezing and tears were streaming from my eyes just from watering.....Haha, people were asking me if I was crying!
Anyway as I was sitting in the dressing room back stage it wasn't calming down and I knew I was about to go out there and sing, plus, I had to lead two songs!

I was sitting on the steps, listening and worshipping to the first band, and it was funny, they started to sing "Healer", I immediately heard a voice say, "I am your healer, nothing is too small or too big for me." So I started to sing and just claim healing, that this little allergy attack was not too small or insignificant.

As I walked out onto the stage, it seemed like nothing had changed, I picked up the mic and Brian started to play the intro to the first song (which I was to lead), as I began to sing "Hungry" I realized that my nose was clear, my eyes didn't itch and I no longer had the urge to sneeze!
The rest of worship set I was able to sing freely and even felt lead by the Holy Spirit than ever before. As I lead "Hosanna", I was just praising God, thanking Him for being the one who saves.

I am so thankful, so grateful, that my little life is not insignificant to Him

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A revelation at 2am ~ Current mood: Enlightened

Monday, June 02, 2008

Man, it's almost 2am and I'm wide awake....I got outta bed walked to the window, I stared out for a minute or two. As I'm lookin' out the window I see two rats the size of small cats run down the sidewalk.....funny how it doesn't faze me anymore.

Wow, it's crazy how much I've really changed in the last 3 years.
I was thinkin' about the things that have happened to me....the horrible things....the wonderful things, but mostly the horrible. Man, I really am such a different person. I started to think about the people who are witness to this change in me and, strange enough, none of them are family.

Over the last 3 years I have had life defining moments that have changed who I am today and how I really look at life. I thought about that and I realized that if you asked my family about me they might only be able to tell you the basic things. That kinda makes me sad.

For the time that I've been here I've struggled with this, for a while I tried to make them keep up with my life, sometimes fished for responses with the slightest glimmer of pride in me.
I think I finally got it, it doesn't matter.

My husband is proud of me, I'm proud of myself and I know God is proud of me, that's all that matters. As hard as it has been, these last 3 years, I thank GOD for what He's brought me through! I now see, He has made me confident, fearless, strong, determined, inspired....
I found a confidence in myself I never had before, I actually go up to people I don't know and make conversation, I was always afraid to do that! I lost such a close, dear friend and surprisingly, I'm finding the strength to get past the depression and pain. I make myself get outta bed everyday!

God reminded me of my dreams and passion to sing and gave me this determination to not give up and He gives me the inspiration to keep writing and to make it into something great!
A prophet once told me when I was a teenager that I never had problems knowing who I am, he was right, but let me tell you, I feel like I have a sense of who I am far more than I ever had in my entire life!

So I'm sittin' here at 2am and I praise God for this revelation....maybe now I will be able to sleep.