Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A Deeper Level

Hmmm, where do I even start??
Well, this past weekend I took a trip with my BF. We both had been needing a vacation for so long, for me, I haven't had a REAL vacation in years! So we decided to visit Redding, CA. and meet up with some friends we hadn't met in person yet. Haha! I know! You're thinking, are you insane!?! But these particular friends I have known and been apart of their lives for about 2 years or so.
Anyway, let me move on. For you to fully understand what my trip was like, I have to explain to you what happened in my heart.

I personally, don't think I've ever, yes EVER, met SO many amazing people in one short span of time! And I say amazing, but TRULY, these people stirred something in me! To give you an analogy that would adequately describe, it would be like someone lighting a trail of gas that went straight to a crate of fireworks!

During the time that I had with them, conversations that I had, it seemed to me that what God was trying to tell me was He wants to take me to a deeper level! I had several conversations with different people where we talked about how certain things that we do, are not a sin, but sometimes those things will block the fullness of what God has for you. To hear this and the testimonies of the change they had when they let go of those things, it made me start to think about what in my life, did I have that was a block.
For some it was drinking, and although they didn't think it was wrong, they didn't hear God speak as clearly to them when they drank.

I feel like before I even left there, God revealed to me what it was for me. For me I put so much of myself into relationships, I mean so much that I wasn't realizing that some of those "relationships" were becoming unhealthy to me. I am such a people pleaser, I want to give love and create peace between people, but when I would try so hard to do that it would sometimes backfire at me.

So today, I've made a decision. It's time to let go. Not just to keep saying it, but to actually physically let go.
For me, I was feeling like that meant Facebook, it seemed like that was one of the sources. The other thing is being more bold, most of the time I let things go, let people say anything to me. But I feel like there can be a balance with love and peace and grace.

I want people to want to know me for me and not to keep up with what everyone is doing. I think Facebook can be a crutch for relationships and people stop talking in person and interacting in person.

So this is a new beginning for me, I've made the decision, with my heart and my mouth. I already feel a shift in the spiritual.